An eye opening moment.

I am officially shocked. Shocked to my core and rather disturbed by what I have just seen. I'm on route home from work, having to detour to the bank and stumbling upon the fact that I had left my house keys at home, anyways I come out the tube station thinking uber lazy I cant be asked walking. I wait for the bus to go yes 2 stops to the bank........ I am also heading that way to meet hubby to collect keys so I can get in the house.

Stood waiting at the bus stop minding my own business, I am doing the people watching thing, you know where you take in everything around you, mulling over my day and how relatively bad its been! I notice on the other side of the road 2 girls and a guy. All clearly intoxicated (I know this cause they cant walk in a straight line). Thought to myself wow bit early to be drunk, but knowing that they are clearly avid drinkers I didn't think anymore of it.

That was until, I deposit my cheque into the bank and walk across the road to Tesco whilst I am waiting for hubby to come with keys. I turned round to see the 2 girls that I had seen previously (the drunk ones) walking up the road. Now no sign of the bloke at this point I also notice one of the girls is loading up her pockets with whatever she could fit and then the other who now had her hood up, loading up her bag with alcohol. Who am I to judged yes I turned a blind eye. They are not stealing from me after all, but bearing in mind I really don't want to get involved with 2 drunk girls who clearly know what they want/need and look like they would do anything to get it. as I stepped back the girl with the hood, was right behind me. Yes I bumped into her, I was just about to apologise to looked at me. It was then I realised I actually knew this girl!

The words F*ck me entered my head! I grew up with this girl. I went to school with her, hung around with her, we were friends. Dee (changing the name) I said slowly she stepped back. She looked at me confused, I said hi its me Nikki. Her face screwed up and she didn't have a clue who I was. I don't know if its because I have changed or just that she was so intoxicated that she just didn't know the weekday let alone who I was. Dee looking rather old, rather drunk and slurring her words. I remember hearing she had babies, she had a husband, nice home ok maybe a while back, but this girl looks like she needs help. I asked the usual, the polite stuff asked her how she was, about her kids, she told me she had 2 kids, boy and girl 6 and 3 that her mum was minding them. She asked me what I was doing, where I was going etc. Doing the chit chat thing, I was actually uncomfortable. I seen her Facebook photos she looked happy, content. Now I see a broken person who needs help and fast. She is a year older than me, we used to hang around all the time. I lost contact with her after we left school. We are friends on Facebook, but that's as far as it goes now. I can understand why.

I am hard to shock, but I am lost for words, My friend Dee. Jesus it brings tears to my eyes thinking that her 2 children are missing out on their mum, because she is an alcoholic. Call me rude for assuming, but I have lived with an alcoholic and you can tell (trust me) same way you can tell someone who takes drugs. Is this really her life. I saw her a year or so ago. Don't get me wrong she was drunk when I saw her then, but didn't look like an alcoholic then, she looked like someone who had been in the pub, being a sunny afternoon in summer. Nothing wrong with that! but now I know maybe there was.

Where are her parents? Her sister? Her friends? Her husband? Is she all alone now?

My dad was an alcoholic, I lived with that for many years of my life until I realised I didn't want my unborn child to see the effects of alcohol, the damage and pain. My child wasn't going to be part of 'that' life. He didn't need to see the damage caused, the fights arguments and the effect this poison has on people. I rarely drink now, I maybe drink once a year. But that doesn't mean I condemn those that like a glass of wine in the evening, because that's every ones personal choice, as is smoking, drug taking or whatever they choose to chill.

What I am wondering is, alcoholism doesn't just happen over night, it comes in stages right? For instance my dad always drank, but didn't wake up one day and become an alcoholic. Its not instant, I'm guessing it is a progressive thing. Like you start with one bottle of wine an evening, then goes to two and it moves on from there. Like my dads alcoholism wasn't a bottle of whiskey a night it started with just one in the evening, then when I left it could have been maybe 2 bottles a night.

For what I believe to be a progressive addiction, someone close to this girl must have seen what was happening, someone somewhere must have noticed a change. Maybe they did, maybe they tried to help? The first rule I know is that the person who has a problem such as this, has to admit they have a problem and can only seek help when they want to and not when others push them to do it. I'm actually really upset seeing her in this way. Its just sad to think she is 32 years old and she looks awful. She has clearly become very dependant on alcohol and I wonder if I will see the sad news that alcohol has killed her, or that she will over come this. Of course I'm hoping as an old friend, she will conquer this and come out the other side, but I am not sure. I hope her children get their mum back.

Looking at Dee today, it sure has made me grateful of the path I chose. I am grateful for everything I have. I may not have all my immediate family cheering me on, but I've not done bad. My child has his mum, his dad and all the family he needs. I feel sad for her and her family.  :(

I am wishing Dee the best of luck. I hope for her sake and her children she will turn her life around. I hope she finds the courage and fight which I know she has to get better.

Helpful Contacts if you have a problem or know anyone who does.
 
The Samaritans

alcoholics-anonymous

Frank (Drugs advise)